Batman and all the World Leaders do it

Say No to Crack draws attention today to a page of Batman and Robin quotes, specifically quotes in which Batman is lecturing his young ward. For example, here's a bit of interaction with which I'm sure we can all heartily agree:

Robin: "You can't get away from Batman that easy!"
Batman: "Easily."
Robin: "Easily."
Batman: "Good grammar is essential, Robin."
Robin: "Thank you."
Batman: "You're welcome."

But a reference to the Dynamic Duo jibes well with my thoughts of earlier this evening.

Because, although in their secret private lives they were wont to dress in the current fashion, when they were on the super-hero clock they were always in uniform.

In an episode of Seinfeld, Jerry says this in the opening part of the show, when he's performing on stage:

"I hate clothes, okay? I hate buying them. I hate picking them out of my closet. I can’t stand every day trying to come up with little outfits for myself. I think eventually fashion won’t even exist. It won’t. I think eventually we’ll all be wearing the same thing. ‘Cause anytime I see a movie or a TV show where there’s people from the future or another planet, they’re all wearing the same thing. Somehow they decided, 'This is going to be our outfit. One-piece silver jumpsuit, V-stripe, and boots. That’s it.' We should come up for an outfit for Earth. An Earth outfit. We should vote on it. Candidates propose different outfits. No speeches. They walk out, twirl, walk off. We just sit in the audience and go, 'That was nice. I could wear that.'”

Appropriately, the episode in question is The Jacket. The eponymous jacket is a super expensive, pink-lined leather jacket Jerry later wears to meet Elaine's father. It is not the fancy, crested jacket Jerry buys in another episode, nor the jacket that becomes a signature piece of clothing for Kramer (pictured).

But speaking of the latter....

Ahmadinejad's got a very similar signature jacket. Fidel Castro's been wearing the same thing for decades. Musharref's in uniform. World leaders are doing it. Batman and Robin and other super heroes are doing it. The Simpsons and the Scooby Doo gang have done it for decades.

My point is, the time has come. We have to stop changing our clothes. If we can't adopt a planetary uniform, then I am ready to declare myself wed to a personal one.

I'm with Jerry Seinfeld. I hate clothes. I hate shopping for clothes. The older I get the more I think of the expenditure on clothing as a waste of money and other resources. My criteria for clothing are comfort and utility, which is why I haven't changed out of tee shirts (and occasionally sweat shirts) with sweatpants and sneakers for about five years now.

No, I'm not kidding. It helps that my lifestyle allows this: the stay-at-home mother thing, the work-at-the-computer thing. (I do alter the color of the tee shirt and sweat pants occasionally but I would be happy not to.) So I've got this de facto uniform thing going on now, and I'm thinking I should make it official, publicly recognized, so that if, God forbid, I should be invited to a wedding vel sim. I would have license to wear the uniform--the world recognizing that there is no choice in the matter.

I don't have much faith that society will recognize the shallowness of the pursuit of fashion anytime soon. But I'm hoping I'll be able to get away without changing my uniform for the forseeable future. Just please don't invite me to a wedding, I beg of you.

Tags: Batman and Robin, jackets, Ahmadinejad, The Simpson, Fidel Castro, Seinfeld, uniforms, fashion, Scooby Doo, Musharref

Comments

[Fendi]

1.

HEllo Debra,
I really like your blog very classic!
Maybe you would like to exchange link with me?
www.kissfendi.com

Have a wonderful weekend!

kiss
Fendi

[Susan]

2.

I think you'll need to make it a tasteful velour jumpsuit perhaps. That way you can transition from afternoon to evening with the simple addition of gold and a few diamonds.

[Clare D]

3.

Yes, Susan is right - velour would be good. I would also like to suggest sequins. My yoga teacher has sequins on her 'leisure suit' and it glams her whole assemble up quite nicely. It would be like the dress uniform, say, on Startrek - just a little ornamentation (I think they use sparkly ribbons) for a special occasion but at no great effort either mental or physical.

[Debra Hamel]

4.

To bring up Seinfeld once again, this is sounding very much like George's suit of choice, when he draped himself in velour.

My sweatpants, I should point out, are not the thick kind. I prefer thin material. Russell Athletics makes a good pair. I suppose I could glam them up for special events with the Bedazzler (http://mybedazzler.com/).

[David]

5.

Next you'll be telling us you got married in a tee shirt!

[Clare D]

6.

That bedazzler looks fun - honestly! I love over-the-top stuff like that once in a while.

[Debra Hamel]

7.

Doesn't everybody get married in a tee shirt?

The Bedazzler became famous because of an Apprentice episode a couple years ago, as what's-her-name explains in the video on the site. You should get one, Clare!

[Tom]

8.

I would suspect that at some point your daughter's would be inviting you to a wedding. And I would also expect that it won't be a t-shirt wedding.

[Debra Hamel]

9.

Dear God. Weddings? But they're just little babies!

[Susan]

10.

Perhaps Debra's children will have modern and liberated views on cohabitation. The T-shirt wedding sounds goods too - save the real money for real life.

[Tom]

11.

I guess the only thing that comes to mind is, does this mean you NEVER EVER dress up for your poor husband? He must be a wonderfully understanding guy.

[Tom]

12.

And Susan, a well planned wedding with the right guest list can actually be quite a money maker. My wife and I cleared enough for a down payment on a house from our wedding.

[Debra Hamel]

13.

Oh, God, he so couldn't care less.

[Tom]

14.

And if there is an Earth uniform, I must insist that the "Fidel Hat" be part of it.

http://www.downsyn.com/wordpress/2007/09/23/castro-has-a-cool-hat/

[Debra Hamel]

15.

Hmmm. It *is* an attractive hat. For women, too?

Whatever we settle on should have lots of pockets, too, for electronic gadgets, change, etc.